Comforting Words - When You Don't Know What To Say

This is the blog of Robbie Miller Kaplan, author of "How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say." Please bookmark my site as a resource on helpful ways to comfort those facing tough times. Comments and questions are welcome!

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Welcome to Comforting Words! We’ve all faced a situation that’s left us speechless. A friend shares a devastating medical diagnosis, you learn via email of a relative’s death, or an acquaintance with a long-standing marriage tells you she’s getting divorced. What do you say? We’ve all been at a loss for words when we've needed them most. My goal in creating this blog is to provide a forum to share stories, ideas, and resources that will help us communicate effectively when confronted with unexpected news of loss and difficult times. And most important, I’d like to give insight into the best ways to help others so they don’t feel isolated and unsupported when facing difficult times. I feel so passionately about the importance of providing support that I wrote a book on the topic: How to Say It When You Don’t Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times. It's now available in volumes on Illness & Death, Miscarriage, Suicide and e-books on Death of a Child, Death of Newborn or Stillborn Baby, Divorce, Pet Loss and Caregiver Responsiblities at http://wordsthatcomfort.com.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Lessons from my dad

I see my mother everywhere. Though I never looked like her, I can now see a physical resemblance and so many of my qualities remind me of her. Not so for my dad. Everyone said I looked like him but I no longer can see the resemblance. I never had the good fortune to get to know him and he wasn’t part of my life long enough for me to emulate him in any way.

My father died when I was eleven. While his death was devastating, my mother dedicated herself to raising four independent children in a family-focused environment. She was an optimist, always telling us, “Something good comes out of everything.” Under her tutelage, I’ve spent my life looking for that silver lining.

So what lessons did I learn from my dad?

1. Life is short so I’ve learned to cram as much living as I can into each and every day.

2. Make good health a priority; if you don’t have your health, nothing else matters.

3. Let everyone you love know how much you love them every single day. Don’t ever assume that people know how you feel.

4. There’s no time like the present; don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.

5. Live life with no regrets; if you want something, whether it’s a relationship, a job, an education, or a trip, go for it now.

6. Each day is a new day and a fresh start; live it with zest and seek new people and new experiences.

7. Celebrate and find your pleasure in the everyday moments in life, whether it’s that first cup of coffee, a walk with a friend, or the wonderful smells of dinner cooking.

This Father’s Day, I won’t be sad; I’ll remember all the lessons I learned from my dad.

Robbie Miller Kaplan is the author of How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say, a guide to help readers communicate effectively when those they care about experience loss. Now available in three individual volumes: "Illness & Death," "Suicide" and "Miscarriage." Three additional titles are available as e-books: "Death of a Child," "Death of a Stillborn and Newborn Baby" and "Pet Loss." Click here to order.

1 Comments:

Blogger Samantha said...

What a lovely entry. And good advice on ways to look at the world on a daily basis. :)

June 24, 2009 at 8:10 AM  

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