Comforting Words - When You Don't Know What To Say

This is the blog of Robbie Miller Kaplan, author of "How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say." Please bookmark my site as a resource on helpful ways to comfort those facing tough times. Comments and questions are welcome!

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Welcome to Comforting Words! We’ve all faced a situation that’s left us speechless. A friend shares a devastating medical diagnosis, you learn via email of a relative’s death, or an acquaintance with a long-standing marriage tells you she’s getting divorced. What do you say? We’ve all been at a loss for words when we've needed them most. My goal in creating this blog is to provide a forum to share stories, ideas, and resources that will help us communicate effectively when confronted with unexpected news of loss and difficult times. And most important, I’d like to give insight into the best ways to help others so they don’t feel isolated and unsupported when facing difficult times. I feel so passionately about the importance of providing support that I wrote a book on the topic: How to Say It When You Don’t Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times. It's now available in volumes on Illness & Death, Miscarriage, Suicide and e-books on Death of a Child, Death of Newborn or Stillborn Baby, Divorce, Pet Loss and Caregiver Responsiblities at http://wordsthatcomfort.com.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Grieving loss during the holidays

Holidays should be joyful, but they are often sad for individuals grieving a loss or going through a difficult experience. Five simple things can bring cheer to those facing tough times:

1. Write a personal note to let them know you are thinking of them and their loved one.
2. Invite them out to lunch and offer to provide transportation.
3. Deliver a gift bag or tin with home-baked or store-bought cookies, muffins, or a quick bread.
4. Include them in your holiday activities but don't be offended if they decline the invitation.
5. Establish a new ritual - a quiet brunch the week before or after the holiday, a meal you prepare together on a week night, or an afternoon tea.

Adapted from "How to Say It When You Don't Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times"

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