Helping a friend through job loss

The news on the job front isn’t good. The Washington Post reported this morning that the unemployment rate rose to a 15-year high – tough news for those employed at some of the organizations that announced layoffs this week. Many folks wonder what to say or do when someone they know has lost their job. When my friend Mark was laid off a few months ago, he didn’t wait for others to ask; he immediately sent everyone in his network an e-mail and was very specific in how others could help. Here’s what he said:

Dear Alex,

As you know, I’m a contract employee at the Deputy Mayor's Office and my contract will end in August. I am not a D.C. resident and, therefore, don’t meet the residency requirements of the position. For this reason, my contract will not be renewed and I’m
now looking for a job.

If you have any leads on employment opportunities that may be a good fit for me or, if you could help me network within the education policy arena, I would really appreciate it. I am attaching my resume and I encourage you to pass it along.

Thanks,
Mark

Mark got the help he requested and found a new job through a connection he made as president of his neighborhood association. Whether he approached guys from his neighborhood pool, fathers of his kids’ play groups, or neighbors he worked with on the citizen’s association, people were responsive. Mark shared some of the helpful things people did so others might learn how best to lend a hand:

1. One friend updated his resume.
2. Acquaintances and good friends forwarded his resume to their HR departments.
3. Colleagues recommended him to their previous or current organizations.

Being supportive after job loss

Along with the grim economic news is the recent data issued by the government on the October unemployment rate – 6.5 % - the highest level in 25 years.

With massive job cuts – 1.2 million jobs lost this year and still counting – it’s hard not to know someone who has lost their job or fears they will. Job loss is a huge blow to one’s ego - no matter how experienced, talented, or skilled, almost everyone’s identity is tied to their occupation or organization. And when that goes, so does your confidence.

How can you help? For starters, accept that they will go through many of the stages of grief in dealing with this loss. They may be angry, bitter, demonstrate denial or feel sad, anxious, or lonely. What you say and do impacts their psyche, so think carefully before you speak. Avoid expressing pity, don’t say anything that will shake their confidence, and most of all, don’t avoid them.

So what can you do to help? Recognize their loss and communicate that you are really sorry this has happened. Bolster their ego by reinforcing their strengths and accomplishments. But avoid unrealistic assurances, such as “You’ll find a job in no time.” In this economic climate, it might take awhile. Instead, suggest they “Take the time to find the right job.” If it’s appropriate, make an offer to provide contacts through your network, give feedback on their resume or cover letter, or distribute their resume. The best support may be a weekly date at the local coffee spot to review their progress, brainstorm options, or just listen. Even if you’re worried about what to say it’s essential you take their calls, return their messages, and include them in social occasions when appropriate. Your care and support will go a long way in helping them through this cycle.