Helping a friend through job loss

The news on the job front isn’t good. The Washington Post reported this morning that the unemployment rate rose to a 15-year high – tough news for those employed at some of the organizations that announced layoffs this week. Many folks wonder what to say or do when someone they know has lost their job. When my friend Mark was laid off a few months ago, he didn’t wait for others to ask; he immediately sent everyone in his network an e-mail and was very specific in how others could help. Here’s what he said:

Dear Alex,

As you know, I’m a contract employee at the Deputy Mayor's Office and my contract will end in August. I am not a D.C. resident and, therefore, don’t meet the residency requirements of the position. For this reason, my contract will not be renewed and I’m
now looking for a job.

If you have any leads on employment opportunities that may be a good fit for me or, if you could help me network within the education policy arena, I would really appreciate it. I am attaching my resume and I encourage you to pass it along.

Thanks,
Mark

Mark got the help he requested and found a new job through a connection he made as president of his neighborhood association. Whether he approached guys from his neighborhood pool, fathers of his kids’ play groups, or neighbors he worked with on the citizen’s association, people were responsive. Mark shared some of the helpful things people did so others might learn how best to lend a hand:

1. One friend updated his resume.
2. Acquaintances and good friends forwarded his resume to their HR departments.
3. Colleagues recommended him to their previous or current organizations.

What to say to a grieving spouse

A colleague, Joan Price, recently lost her beloved husband, Robert. Many folks she encountered found it hard to say the right thing and too often she was asked, “How are you doing?" Joan wondered, “What was I supposed to answer? The truth was ‘Horrible, of course!’ but I restrained myself."

I asked Joan to share what she wished folks had said so we could learn how to better communicate with a grieving spouse. Joan reminded me that we each grieve differently and statements that she liked might not work as well with others. But these are her heartfelt suggestions:

1. “Tell me about him.”
With people who didn’t know him or barely knew him, this is a wonderful opening for me to talk about him.

2. “I miss him, too.”
From people who did know him, this is the perfect thing to say.

3. “Here’s what I loved about him” or “Here’s something special he did that I’ll always remember.”
How beautiful to add to my memories of him during this time.

Thanks, Joan!