Comforting Words - When You Don't Know What To Say: 12/28/08

About Me

Location: United States

Welcome to Comforting Words! We’ve all faced a situation that’s left us speechless. A friend shares a devastating medical diagnosis, you learn via email of a relative’s death, or an acquaintance with a long-standing marriage tells you she’s getting divorced. What do you say? We’ve all been at a loss for words when we've needed them most. My goal in creating this blog is to provide a forum to share stories, ideas, and resources that will help us communicate effectively when confronted with unexpected news of loss and difficult times. And most important, I’d like to give insight into the best ways to help others so they don’t feel isolated and unsupported when facing difficult times. I feel so passionately about the importance of providing support that I wrote a book on the topic: How to Say It When You Don’t Know What to Say: The Right Words for Difficult Times. It's now available in volumes on Illness & Death, Miscarriage, Suicide and e-books on Death of a Child, Death of Newborn or Stillborn Baby, Divorce, Pet Loss and Caregiver Responsiblities at http://wordsthatcomfort.com.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Seven ways to listen better

Someone facing a difficult experience needs an outlet to voice their concerns and fears. It is through conversations, sharing our stories over and over again, that we finally make sense of what is happening in our lives. One of the greatest gifts you can give someone facing a tough time is a willingness to listen. And yet listening doesn't come easy to us. Listening is a skill, just like speaking and writing, and the more you practice, the more proficient you become. Here are seven strategies to help you be a better listener:

1. Choose a private and comfortable place to talk.
2. Disregard your own feelings and thoughts and focus solely on the speaker.
3. Look directly at the speaker.
4. Avoid interruptions and don't talk.
5. Demonstrate warmth in your voice and your facial expressions.
6. Change position if you find your mind wandering or feel you are slipping away.
7. Stay calm and be patient.

Labels: listening